EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN

I see extraordinary women around me every day. Amazing, captivating, inspiring! Most of them don’t even realize how extraordinary they are. They just go about doing their everyday chores, multitasking and being the best they can. Lovers, learners, healers, nurturers and carers. Women are everything and more.

I could go on and on about so many women who have inspired me all through my life, but I would like to particularly reminisce about the three women who have shaped me and made me who I am today. These three women are my grandmother, my mother and my nanny.

THE DISCIPLINARIAN:

My mother was a teacher. That would probably explain why she was so strict with us. But there’s more to her than what meets the eye. My mother raised me and my sister single-handedly since my father worked abroad. It is not easy playing the role of both parents to a child, but my mother did it and I will always admire her for it.

My mother has always been meticulous, hardworking, organized, punctual and disciplined. She is extremely talented, but too modest for her own good. She considers humility to be the best virtue one can possess and has always tried to imbibe the same in us.

She was a secondary school geography teacher. She would wake up at 4 in the morning to prepare her lessons for the day, after which she would prepare breakfast for the family, get us ready for school and go off to her own school which was 5 kilometres away. Being a multi-tasker, she managed her household chores, prepared lessons, evaluated exam papers and still took the time out to pay attention to us. She made many sacrifices so we could have the best. Children learn through observation, and my mother has been the best teacher by way of example.

My mother retired as a teacher after 45 years of service. Teaching has always been her passion, and she has touched many lives through her profession. She still continues to teach by means of volunteering. Sometimes, when she bumps into her ex students, I am baffled by how she not only remembers their names, but also that of their family members. That’s how genuinely interested she is. I am in awe of how much love and respect she gets from them, and how they have the best of things to say about her. I am also surprised by the contrast in behaviour towards her students, or grandchild for that matter, and what she projected towards us. But I soon realize that I wouldn’t have been what I am without her tough love.

THE GO-GETTER:

Some of my earliest memories are that with my maternal grandmother. She was feisty and strong and determined. But under that tough shell of hers, she was mellow and tender and caring. I remember my grandmother as mentally and physically strong. She would face any challenge head on and never back down. She had a never-say-never attitude and chose to live life queen size. She didn’t know to ride a bicycle, but I remember her telling me that if she were given a bicycle she would use it and learn to ride it immediately. She was a hard worker. She would take on any physical task with ease. At the age of eighty, she had biceps that would put many men to shame. At her age, when most people would choose to confine to the comfort of their homes, my grandmother would climb the roof of her house to single-handedly fix the tiles.

She was an excellent cook and would closely guard her recipes like a child would his toys. But that never stopped her from treating her friends and relatives to her mouth-watering Goan sweet and savoury dishes. She would go out of her way to help those in need and was a born leader who would often head the activities in her village.

What amazed me most about my grandmother was her strong will power and determination. She would not let anything dampen her spirit. Towards her last days, she suffered from a stroke due to which she lost the use of one arm. My last memory of her is her swatting a mosquito with her good hand by using her invalid hand as a swatter. Even in the end, she didn’t let anything rain on her parade. I’m sure she was an inspiration to not only me, but many others as well.

THE TENDER ONE:

I had a nanny who stayed with us from the time I was one till the time I got married. She was family to us; more like a surrogate grandmother. She was a calm person, patient, understanding and wise. She was a friend to my mother and a companion to me.

She had begun working as a house help at the age of eight and wasn’t educated. But she had a constant thirst for knowledge and displayed a child-like enthusiasm whenever I would teach her something new I learnt at school. In return, she would teach me things like etiquette, manners and how to pay attention to detail. She would lend me her ears if I needed someone to talk to and would quietly offer her advice if I needed it. She would always be there with a bottle of medicine to apply each time we grazed our knees. She would console us when we were upset and celebrate our victories. She never got married and considered us as her immediate family. I believe I was truly blessed to have her around when I was growing up.

Each woman in my life had vastly contrasting personalities and their own unique role to play. I have learnt something invaluable from each of them which I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I am truly grateful to each of them for their contribution, influence and inspiration.